It's a Blue Day

Today is Autism Awareness Day.

The day is recognized as a way to bring understanding to the community at large

about this most prevalent disorder.

We are going on our 11th year of living with it,

as C wasn't really diagnosed with Asperger's until he was about 5.

He hasn't been raised the way my folks raised me,

because

 typical solutions don't work when your child is not typical.

We've had to figure out what will work with each and every scenario,

and it's been a lesson in creativity for all of us.

He's improved in so many ways.

He still has sensitive hearing, 

but now he can sit in the same room when I vacuum without his headphones on.

He still talks too loud a lot of the time,

but a gentle reminder now helps him regulate his voice.

He sometimes has irrational fears (who doesn't),

but it is now easier to reason these things out.

His obsession passion has gone from construction equipment

to Legos to film editing,

but each venue has given him knowledge, pleasure, and a continuity in his learning.

Since we homeschool, he is able to explore these fields fully and without interruption.

The area in which he's made tremendous progress is in social skills.

This particular skill set has been quite challenging,

and we've learned to become very creative in our learning.

Thanks to a gifted play therapist, a lot of practice and patience, and just plain maturity,

he is more empathic than many typical teenagers.

He is more able now to let his heart shine through

when things go wrong.

My intent is not to simply brag about how great my kid is,

(although he really melts my heart),

but to bring an awareness to others,

that some of us have had to struggle tooth and nail

to get to where we are today.

It hasn't been easy,

but it's been the only journey we know.

Please wear blue today,

to honor all of those living with autism.

If you can, put a blue light bulb in your outside light fixture

for the month of April.

We are all in this together.

Blessings be...

Autism Awareness 2011 

Autism Awareness 2012 

Autism Awareness 2013 

Autism Awareness 2014 

Autism Awareness 2015

Autism Awareness Day

I'm blessed to be the mom of one pretty amazing boy.

We've been through our trials,
(which continue everyday),

but I know that our journey has served a purpose.

This essay really captures the feelings and experiences of 

so many special needs families.

It's well-known in disabilities circles,

but I'm not sure that typical folks have enjoyed it.

I hope this gives you an idea of what life is like

for those of us dealing with (sometimes) extraordinary challenges. 
As the latest numbers suggest,
it ain't gettin' better. 

Welcome to Holland

When you're going to have a baby, 

it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. 

You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. 

The gondolas in Venice. 

You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. 

It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. 
You pack your bags and off you go. 

Several hours later, the plane lands. 

The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? 

I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. 

All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. 

They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to

a horrible, disgusting, filthy place. 

It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. 

And you must learn a whole new language. 

And you will meet a whole new group of people 

you would never have met.

It's a different place. 

It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. 

But after you've been there for a while 

and you catch your breath, you look around.... 

and you begin to notice that Holland 
has windmills....

and Holland has tulips.

But everyone you know 
is busy coming and going from Italy... 

and they're all bragging about 

what a wonderful time they had there.

But... 
if you spend your life mourning the fact 

that you didn't get to Italy, 

you may never be free to enjoy the very special, 

the very lovely things ... 

about Holland.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

***Please use a blue light in your lamp post for the month of April

to support Lil' Guy and others living with autism.  Thanks.***

 
TALU

Blue Light Special

Autism Awareness Day

This blog is not about autism. 

This blog is autism.

Although I don't often talk about how autism affects

each and every moment of our waking life,

it is always there, like a constant companion.

We have been immersed in the highs and lows of it,

been through all the stages of anger, grief,

frustration, and helplessness,

and landed in a place of choosing to simply embrace it.

Having unraveled the truth of our family's destiny,

I have come to realize what a blessing

our lives are because of autism,

not in spite of it.
Autism did that.

My boy is my greatest teacher. 

Grateful doesn't even come close to describing how I feel about this amazing person

with whom I've been blessed to share my life.

There have been so many struggles along the way,

but through it all, he's taught me more about

myself than all those philosophical books

I read back in my 20's and 30's.

Experiential learning sticks.
Autism did that.

I never thought I was a strong person. 
Growing up, I was the only person in my family
who ever seemed to cry.

Always bawled during Lassie.
Talk about sensitive!

I've come to realize that it doesn't mean
that you're weak if you cry.

It shows how strong you are that you can
face and express your feelings. 
Autism did that too.

Having been through so many tough experiences with
Lil' Guy has made me stronger than I ever thought I could be.

There's nothing like someone messin' with your baby

to bring out the Momma Lion in you.

And so, this once 7 pound, 11 ounce bundle of cuddliness

has shown me exactly what I'm made of.

And all that I can be.

I'm evolving right along with him.
And this blog reflects that evolution.
Autism quietly but profoundly did that.

If just one person reads this and becomes

more compassionate, more understanding

and less judgemental about a child with autism,

it's a worthwhile endeavor.

We are still given looks of judgement or stared at on occasion.

The difference is, that because of taking this journey,

I no longer care what other people think of us.

They're not living the life.

The bonus is that it's helped me to be that much more

compassionate and caring about other people

with differences, whatever they may be.
Autism did that and so much more.

Although I don't agree with some of the positions

of the Autism Speaks organization,

I appreciate them bringing more awareness to the world

with their "Light It Up Blue" campaign.

We'll be switching out our porch light again this year

for the month of April,

and buying a few more bulbs for others to share.

If you don't currently know someone on the autism spectrum,
just wait a while.
With 1 in 54 boys being diagnosed,
it's inevitable.

For more information on autism,

click on these links:

http://nationalautismassociation.org/autism-prevalence-now-1-in-88-children-1-in-54-boys/

http://www.autismweb.com/



The Natural Learning Initiative

The Homeschool Year in Review

Time to explore at length the way things work...

This school year started out with some trepidation.  Fourth grade

is a big step from the lower elementary grades.  There are so many skills taught at this level.  Many students feel overwhelmed, as they sense the increased pressure and transition to self-responsibility.  Thankfully, we don't find ourselves under this type of stress because

we are creating our own learning environment.

Appreciating things others may not even notice...



This year the main focus was on getting lil' guy's health back on track.  Plagued with allergies, asthma and sensory difficulties since he's been very young, we have been working on resolving these issues to give him a better quality of life.

The other priority was to work intensely on social skills. 
Having the freedom of homeschooling allows for so many opportunities to practice these skills.  Every time we encounter someone new, we concentrate on how best to communicate what we are thinking and feeling in the most appropriate way.  Not an easy task when you consider that kids with Asperger's have very little in the way of social skills.  Each and every encounter is another opportunity to practice what doesn't come naturally.

Being able to learn in a way that suits him best,

with his own self-made curriculum.

The flexibility with natural learning this year has allowed us to really focus on areas that needed strict attention.  I think it's fair to say that great strides have been made.  Lil' guy can now have friends over and take turns playing what they each like to do.  He is initiating more social conversational skills such as asking a friend what they think about any given subject.  His vocabulary has been extensive for quite some time, but the challenge lies in using his communication skills effectively.  These social pragmatics are the mainstay of every interaction.  He has also made a concerted effort to improve in the area of manners, and he will tell you that he wants to "always be polite". 

Caring for loved ones,

even if they aren't human...

One major accomplishment is his ability to now use the phone to call friends and family.  Until this year, he would balk at having to talk to someone on the phone, even someone for whom he cares deeply.  My take on it is that it was difficult for him to talk to someone without being able to see their face.  Kids on the spectrum need lots of visual support, so this unwillingness made real sense to me.  Over time, he has now gotten comfortable picking up the phone and dialing a friend to invite over.  He even remembers to end the call with a proper "bye".

Discovery at his own pace,

in his own comfort zone.

These milestones may not seem much to anyone outside of our family, but we know how significant they are.  Academics will only get him so far.  Typical of Aspies, he is extremely bright, so learning comes easily to him.  He retains every thing he's ever read and can recite word-for-word book pages and video clips.  His incredible memory allows him to "see" the page in front of him as he describes it.  What a gift!
Our studies are more along the realm of social interactions and maintaining healthy and reciprocal relationships. 
These skills can only be taught in the school of life. 

Fire Safety is a current obsession interest.

Before I became a momma to a child with Asperger's, I never really thought too much about the importance of social skills.  It's something that I thought came naturally to everyone, although now that I know more about it, I can say it's something I myself have struggled with throughout my life.  I feel so grateful that lil' guy can be at home to learn these vital life lessons.  They will carry him through his life
and make it so much better. 

Homeschooling has been one of the biggest blessings
of our lives.

Lots of time with family...

For more information about Asperger's,

you can go here.